COUNT US! Counties Under New Terrain US I-69

Home Sweet Home

OK, we have noticed that the pressure of worry about the loss of your home seems to be bringing out the humor... so here is our joke page.
These come out most in times of stress and anger, for that we are sorry, but we document the humor of the times. Major Moves might require a larger server.

Eminent Domain Rights

A cocky Federal Highway Department employee stopped at a farm and
talked to the old farmer. He told the farmer, "I need to inspect your farm
or a possible new road."

The old farmer said, "Okay, but don't go in that field."

The Highways employee said, "I have the authority of the U.S. Federal Government to go where I want. See this card? I am allowed to go wherever I wish on farm land."

So the old farmer went about his farm chores. Later, he heard loud screams and saw the U.S. Federal Highway employee running for the

fence, and close behind was the farmer's prize bull. The bull was madder

than a nest full of hornets and was gaining on the employee at every step.

The old farmer called out,

"Show him your card! Show him your card!"

If you can't stand the heat, don't tickle the dragon.

We need a new cartoon for this space.

Subject: : A Modern Parable

A Japanese company ( Toyota ) and an American company (General Motors) decided to have a canoe race on the Missouri River . Both teams practiced long and hard to reach their peak performance before the race.

On the big day, the Japanese won by a mile.

The Americans, very discouraged and depressed, decided to investigate the reason for the crushing defeat. A management team made up of senior management was formed to investigate and recommend appropriate action.

Their conclusion was the Japanese had 8 people rowing and 1 person steering, while the American team had 8 people steering and 1 person rowing.

Feeling a deeper study was in order, American management hired a consulting company and paid them a large amount of money for a second opinion. They advised, of course, that too many people were steering the boat, while not enough people were rowing.

Not sure of how to utilize that information, but wanting to prevent another loss to the Japanese, the rowing team's management structure was totally reorganized to 4 steering supervisors, 3 area steering superintendents and 1 assistant superintendent steering manager.

They also implemented a new performance system that would give the 1 person rowing the boat greater incentive to work harder. It was called the "Rowing Team Quality First Program", with meetings, dinners and free pens for the rower. There was discussion of getting new paddles, canoes and other equipment, extra vacation days for practices and bonuses.

The next year the Japanese won by two miles.

Humiliated, the American management laid off the rower for poor performance, halted development of a new canoe, sold the paddles, and canceled all capital investments for new equipment. The money saved was distributed to the Senior Executives as bonuses and the next year's racing team was out-sourced to India

NBA OR NFL OR???

36 Have been accused of spousal abuse.
7 Have been arrested for fraud.
19 Have been accused of writing bad checks.
117 Have directly or indirectly bankrupted at least 2 businesses.
71, Repeat 71 cannot get a credit card due to bad credit
3 Have done time for assault.
14 Have been arrested on drug-related charges.
8 Have been arrested for shoplifting.
21 Currently are defendants in lawsuits
84 Have been arrested for drunk driving in the last year.

Is it the NBA or NFL??
Neither, it's the 535 members of the United States Congress!

The same group of idiots that crank out hundreds of new laws each year designed to keep the rest of us in line. Perhaps "Question Authority" is not such a bad philosophy.

Tom Tokarski (CARR), Whit and Wisdom:

In Order to Continue the Fight against I-69

We don't need a statistician, we need a mortician.
Toll I-69 is brain dead but is being kept alive by the life support of Daniels' political machine.
It's a zombie highway.
A highway of the walking dead.

" Former INDOT Commissioner Sharp has said the studies are proceeding ‘at warp speed’. Unfortunately, studies done at warp speed produce warped results." stated Thomas Tokarski, of Citizens for Appropriate Rural Roads.

The Indiana Office of Tourism is looking for a new slogan.
http://www.in.gov/enjoyindiana/editorials/2006feb_slogan.asp
We are trying to help them:

FOR SALE
Indiana, future home of all three NAFTA interstates.
Indiana, it's all you've been tolled.
Buy Indiana, place your bids with INDOT.

Squander Indiana
Plunder Indiana

Send your I-69 or Major Moves humor.

Tippecanoe and Toll Roads too!
Indiana! It's about time! (we just don't know what time)
Indiana is tree-mendous, hurry & visit before we cut them all down!
Indiana, Believe it or not: Governor & legislators without ears!
Indiana, Believe it or not: See a Governor so open-mined, his brains fell out!
Indiana, Believe it or not: See it live! Miniature George Bush!
Bye Indiana!
Indiana, no place to call home.
Travel Indiana, where something is always for sale.
Visit Indiana's many Historical sites - Actual factories where people used to work!
We've got it all in Indiana - Tolls Taxes & Troubles
Visit Indiana, you'll be glad you left.
Indiana, Restart your engine. (Believe it or not, this one won!)
Buy Indiana! what'll it be, a road, bridge, school, or how about an airport? We have a new stadium that might be in your price range too.
IN, the Cross hairs of the Americas.

COUNT US! NEWS, 01/31/06

If you hired a lawyer and he drew up a contract for you that said you had "a moral obligation" to the other party, but did not put a moral obligation on that party to you... wouldn't you wonder who the lawyer was working for?

Provides that, with the approval of the budget director after review by the budget committee, a public-private agreement may include a moral obligation of the state to pay certain costs incurred under the agreement.

http://www.in.gov/legislative/bills/2006/HB/HB1008.2.html

That is a provision in HB1008/ Major Moves! Har, har, har... don't tell anybody, lets not consider it. Hurry up and vote, the 75 year lease can be renegotiating in four generations.

"We hang the petty thieves and appoint the great ones to public office." --Aesop

The National Transportation Safety Board recently divulged they had "covertly" funded a project with the U.S. auto makers for the past 5 years,whereby the auto makers were installing black-box voice recorders in 4-wheel drive pickup trucks and SUV's in an effort to determine in fatal accidents, the circumstances in the last 15 seconds before the crash.  

They were surprised to find in 48 of the 50 states the recorded last words of drivers in 61.2 % of fatal crashes were, "Oh Shit!"  Only in Wisconsin and the Upper Peninsula of Michigan were different, where 89.3 % of the final words were, "Hold my beer, I'm gonna try somethin'."

Some folks are just naturally funny:

"If the bidders had offered the government a dollar for the Toll Road, it'd be a better deal. So to get $3.85 billion, that's phenomenal from a financial perspective."

- Matt Will, Univ of Indpls Finance Professor - Indpls Star, 1/26/06
forwarded to US! by the My-Man-Mitch campaign.

( Hey want this guy planning your retirement?.....he is with a selective 280% higher INDOT tax if you live in Northern Indiana or SW Indiana for the next three generations.)

Warrick Publishing Co. Gibson County CARRtoon

http://www.tristate-media.com/warricknews/editorial/

Bloomington Herald Times and

Bloomington Economic Development Corporation
React to news of I-69 turning State Road 37
into a Privatized Toll Road

i-69, buy indiana

Don't call me Pinocchio department:

"Hogwash" / Indianpolis Star Jan.10, 2006

With I-69, at $3.15 Billion, we would import 74,000
fast food workers after the state has 100% employment.

"BUY INDIANA",
Download bid packet as a PDF File, click here.
Request for Title Services as a PDF File, click here.
Governor Mitch Daniels

'Ask not for whom the roads toll, they toll for thee.'
Heh, Heh, sorry"

Anonymous COUNT US! member

"The funding approaches being considered by the Governor are based on INDOT’s own math known as “Trickonometry”. In Trickonometry nothing adds up but all computations give the same result."

Bill Boyd (Farm owner Greene County & Home owner Perry Township)

I Yahooed "I-69 and corruption" and Tom DeLay's gov't web site was #1.

....

I googled "privatized tolls bankruptcy" & got:
A knowledge base that deals with the general issue
of toll roads

Sam

"A survey shows that nobody would pay a toll to go to Evansville."
Indianapolis Star October 23, 2005

Michael Feldman's public radio show "Whad'Ya Know?" came to Indy on Oct. 15. Among his "news" bits: "Gov. Mitch Daniels says Indiana will go with faith-based time zones." And about I-69: "A survey shows that nobody would pay a toll to go to Evansville."

Daniels Team wins Indy Star Award

January 8, 2006

MATTHEW TULLY

The return of The Mitchies!

http://www.indystar.com/apps/pbcs.dll/article?AID=/20060108/COLUMNISTS19/601080436

Best Sound Bite: Daniels calls his transportation proposal "the jobs vote of a generation." Whoever came up with that persuasive phrase deserves a raise.

Think of I-69 like this...
("Rocky, watch me pull a rabbit out of my hat!")

The toll road idea, Goebel added, should be thought of as
"paying two bucks when you get on in Evansville, and
pulling $10 out of a bucket when you get to Indianapolis."
That, he said, will be the impact of the road on Indiana's economy, job-quality status and standard of living.

The Evansville Courier Press 10/2/05 http://www.courierpress.com/ecp/
gleaner_news/article/0,1626,ECP_4476_4120630,00.html

http://www.superslab.org/images/169_toxic.gif

Don't worry, I'll Clean it up!
http://www.superslab.org/pages/1/

"Work on Frank O'Bannon Highway stopped
because of escalating fuel costs"

Actual Headline from the Bloomington Herald Times,
September 16, 2005

"This total I-69 extension proposal to Mexico is about money and greed, not purpose or need." from an e-mail by John Braun to a public official

Farmer & the Bell
Frank was in the fertilized egg business. He had several hundred young layers called pullets and eight or ten roosters, whose job was make sure the eggs were fertile. Frank kept records and any rooster that didn't perform went into the soup pot and was replaced. That took an awful lot of Frank's time so Frank got a set of tiny bells and attached them to his rooster's necks. Each bell had a different tone so Frank could tell from a distance, which rooster was performing. Now he could sit on the porch and fill out an efficiency report simply by listening to the bells.

Frank's favorite rooster was old JB, a very fine specimen he was, to. But on this particular morning Frank noticed old JB's bell hadn't rung at all! Frank went to investigate. The other roosters were chasing pullets, bells-a-ringing. The pullets, hearing the roosters coming, would run for cover. BUT, to Franks's amazement, Frank had his bell in his beak, so it couldn't ring. He'd sneak up on a pullet, do his job and walk on to the next one.

Frank was so proud of JB, he entered him in the county fair... and JB became an overnight sensation among the judges. The result... The judges not only awarded JB the "No Bell Piece Prize" but they also awarded him the "Pulletsurprise" as well.

Clearly old JB was a political chicken, winning by being the best at sneaking up on the populace and screwing them.

Developing Transportation Modes of the Future

When a cat is dropped, it always lands on its feet, and when toast is dropped, it always lands with the buttered side down. I propose INDOT strap buttered toast to the back of a cat; the two will hover, inches above the ground.

With a giant buttered-cat array, a high-speed monorail could easily link Canada with Mexico.

Van W. Cottom
(Retired transcontinental truck driver who advocates
intermodal rail/truck solutions and "No Build - I-69".)

Who's the easiest?

Five surgeons are discussing who makes the best patients on the operating table.

The first surgeon says, "I like to see accountants on my operating table, because when you open them up, everything inside is numbered."

The second responds, "Yeah, but you should try electricians! Everything inside them is color coded."

The third surgeon says, "No, I really think librarians are the best; everything inside them is in alphabetical order."

The fourth surgeon chimes in: "You know, I like construction workers...those guys always understand when you have a few parts left over at the end, and when the job takes longer than you said it would."

But the fifth surgeon shut them all up when he observed: "You're all wrong. Politicians are the easiest to operate on. There are no guts, no heart, and no spine, and the head and butt are interchangeable.

Dear Governor Daniels,

I have read with interest your proposals to sell State assets to raise needed funds.

I would go for a plan to offer Hoosiers a chance to invest in the opportunity to make I-69 simply go away. The state could sell an interstate without having to build it. Anti-interstate bonds would be extremely popular in my neck of the woods, I’d buy $1,000 worth today if they existed.

It also has better PR value than “Hoosier Garage Sale”.

A a possible promo
Act Now to Buy and Bury I-69

Brian

Since when can a dog be an analysts of politics?

Thoughts of Scottie E White

Now COUNT US! presents the thoughts of scottie,
Scott E. White:
How Mitch Daniels will Bury New Terrain I-69

Question: What is the fastest way for Evansville, Indiana to get an Interstate to the State Capital?

Answer: Secede (We could route the Ohio River north of them for less money.)

Dan Carpenter
Build it, and they'll keep going
April 7, 2004

http://www.indystar.com/articles/3/135737-2753-026.html

(Preserved at: http://www.i69tour.org/bitingjournalism.html)

"Fantastic, Your Indianapolis Star piece is the funniest thing I have seen on the subject of I-69 and I keep the COUNT US! joke page."
John Smith- COUNT US!

Dan Carpenter,
Great job on that, "Build it, and they'll keep going" article.

I agree 99.38%.
Dan Chase --former INDOT Geotechnical Section Geologist, retired after 28.5 years.

I-69 Newsline

[Apr 8] Them's fightin' words: Bloomington city council member Andy Ruff calls INDOT Commissioner J. Bryan Nicol a “young punk bureaucrat political wannabe” in

Indiana Daily Student article on the I-69 extension in Indiana.

Jan 9, 2005
published as a Guest Editorial in
The Bloomington Herald Times
http://www.heraldtimesonline.com/stories/2005/01/09/
digitalcity.0109-SH-D5_RSZ23050.sto?lin

Give Evansville their Interstate to the Capital. Build it faster and cheaper.
by James Alexander Thom

Being in the majority should never make us insensitive to the needs of the minority. Compassion is the word.

We, the overwhelming majority who believe a new-terrain Interstate 69 route from Evansville to Indianapolis is the most outrageously stupid and wasteful project imaginable, have perhaps not considered the desperate isolation of poor Evansville, way down there in the very tip toe of Indiana. We don't appreciate the brave Evansville business
speculators and lobbyists who have finagled for years to run a superhighway over our lives so they can get to Indianapolis a few minutes quicker.
Map of Proposed Routing of Ohio River
COUNT US! Proposed Routing of Ohio River $1.6 Billion

But poor Evansville is so shut off from the rest of the world! Look at their utter lack of transportation arteries for travel and commerce.
All they have is:

• Interstate 64 from St. Louis right past Evansville to Louisville (and on to the Atlantic coast);
• U.S. 41 from Chicago through Evansville to Nashville (and on to Atlanta and Miami);
• various railroads, and

• the navigable Ohio River (from Pittsburgh to the Mississippi and thus to anyplace in mid-America, to New Orleans — yes, even to Mexico, the Eldorado of NAFTA, which is where I-69 would take them if their dreams did come true).

So you see, those poor Evansvilleans can hardly get out of their little cul-de-sac to go anywhere — especially to Indianapolis, where the Statehouse is. Would you want to do the kind of commute an Evansville lobbyist has to make? To hear him tell it, he has to trek through a southwestern Indiana wilderness by deerpath over hills and wetlands and through gloomy forests, running over possums and Amish buggies all along the way!

I say, have pity for such as he. It's just a shame that the state capital didn't stay where it was originally, in Corydon. If it had, an Evansville wheeler-dealer could have sped east on I-64 after breakfast, stroked a politician, and returned home in time for an afternoon in the golf cart.

Being sympathetic to the plight of any poor Evansvillean who might need to go to a state capital, I have tried to imagine some way to help — some way more satisfactory and less costly than paving the loveliest segment of Indiana, where I was born and raised and expect to be buried eventually under something other than an exit ramp or a fast-food restaurant. Those poor Evansvilleans are so far from Indianapolis that they might as well be in Kentucky …

Aha! I came up with this wonderfully simple plan:

Just redraw the map! Put the Indiana-Kentucky state line north of Evansville!

A little ink on the road atlas is so much easier and cheaper than a$2-billion highway with all its destruction of environment and disruption of the lives of us natives.

The car trip from Evansville to Frankfort (which would then be their state capital) is only 160 miles, all Interstate 64, compared with the 186 miles of wilderness trail to Indianapolis — which isn't nearly as pretty a city as Frankfort anyway.

Instead of remaining the woebegone, forgotten outpost of Indiana, Evansville would be welcomed as a proud new metropolis of Kentucky — in fact, its greatest city west of Louisville!

And then we could all live happily ever after, without fear of being obliterated by highway bulldozers. Anti-I-69 activists could retire to hugging the trees they will have saved, instead of spending all their time dreaming up ways to embarrass Indiana governors and INDOT bureaucrats. This is such a splendid situation, in fact, that My Man
Mitch will probably want to renew my Sagamoreship, which is rather faded after 27 years.

And I couldn't have come up with this modest and wonderful solution if I hadn't been sensitive to the plight of those poor, isolated Evansvilleans. I'm glad God made me a Compassionate Conservationist.

OK, this one is perhaps not a joke, but we couldn't think of a better place to put it. We find it bizarre, if not funny. We are afraid Jim Newland may be loosing his mind:

Indianapolis Star Letter to the editor:
http://www.indystar.com/articles/5/196552-6535-022.html

Direct-route I-69 Will Bring Economic Rewards
November 22, 2004
State and federal officials have agreed with government-financed engineering studies that the time has come to complete I-69 and that is should directly serve Bloomington, Crane and more than a dozen southwest Indiana counties, cities and towns. People who oppose the project say this interstate is a misuse of taxpayers'money, that rural communities will suffer, that local businesses will lose customers, that the project favors special interests.

When you inhibit development in favor of the status quo, which opponents apparently want to do, you also dictate a regional job drain and other consequences of a shrinking tax base, including less money for quality education, public works improvements and local entitlement programs.

The I-69 project will enhance the tax foundation needed to help underwrite environmental and ecological goals, including the preservation of forests, parks, wetlands and waterways. Reasons to complete I-69 along the preferred straight "3-C" route serving Bloomington and Crane are compelling.

James G. Newland
Executive director
I-69 Mid-Continent
Highway Coalition
Indianapolis

One COUNT US! member sent this "joke" some time ago:

Jim Newland, former head of of I-69 Mid-Continent Highway Coalition
Joyce Newland, Transportation Planner, FHWA
Mark Newland, Program Director for Intelligent Transportation System,INDOT

Jim Newland, former head of the I-69 Mid-Continent Highway Coalition, is the father of Mark Newland Program Director for Intelligent TransportationSystem, INDOT who is the husband of Joyce Newland, Transportation Planner, FHWA.

Now when you consider that Jim Newland, former head of I-69 Mid-Continent Highway Coalition, hires as their consultant Randy DeLay for $380,000 and he is the brother of Congressman Tom DeLay who as Majority Whip gets the I-69 legislation enacted, and that Joyce Newland is now the FHA representative spearheading this project along with her husband Mark Newland... We think, no truth to the rumor that the Newlands and DeLays might be cousins??

Hostettler Mounting Campaign to Change the Name of
Interstate 69 - By August Wayne, THG News

http://www.hoosiergazette.com/News/Nov2004/news003.htm

John Hostettler,the Congressman representing the 8^th district of Indiana, has been convinced by local religious groups to introduce legislation in the House that would change the name of an Interstate 69 extension to a more moral sounding number.

There are plans to extend the interstate from Indianapolis through southwestern Indiana all the way through Texas into Mexico in the coming years. While most believe this highway will be good for the state’s economy, religious conservatives believe “I-69” sounds too risqué and want to change the interstate’s number.

Hostettler, a proponent of the interstate extension, agrees. “Every time I have been out in the public with an ‘I-69’ button on my lapel, teenagers point and snicker at it. I have had many ask me if they can have my button. I believe it is time to change the name of the highway. It is the moral thing to do.” HOSTETTLER

As a matter of fact, naming the highway’s extension I-69 is a violation of the Interstate Highway System’s rules for numbering roads. Interstates numbers are to increase from west to east. If the extension through southern Indiana is named I-69,then 69 will be west of I-65, a direct violation.

“Naming the road I-63 not only follows numbering guidelines, it doesn’t have the sexual undertones that I-69 has,” says Hostettler, “It is a win-win situation.”

The change will more than likely be introduced in committee when Congress convenes after the first of the year.

Farmers Double-Crossed Roads of America
Licence Plate

Farmers Double-Crossed Roads of America License Plate

COUNT US! title: THE 10% OFF RIOT

http://www.heraldtimesonline.com/stories/2004/05/22/news.0522-HT-A1_PM042739.sto

Line for Cheap Gas Fuels Rage
Man arrested after bumping away woman standing in line to save spot, police say
By Marcela Creps and Bethany Swaby
Herald-Times Staff Writers
May 22, 2004

The incident occurred around 11 a.m. as customers waited at Swifty Gas on West Third Street.

Bloomington police Detective David Drake said he passed the Swifty station earlier in the morning and noticed the long lines. He speculated the lines were caused by Swifty's price, which was as much as 21 cents a gallon lower than he had seen at other stations.

Later in the day, Swifty raised its price to $2.13 a gallon, matching many of the stations around Bloomington.

According to police reports, a line into Swifty had formed from the east, while two vehicles tried to get to the pumps from the west but were unable to do so.

A Bloomington man was arrested Friday after a confrontation at a gas station whose posted price of $1.92 a gallon drew long lines to the gas pumps.

Willis F. Wiley, 62, of 803 Cascade Ave., was preliminarily charged with criminal recklessness, a Class D felony, after he allegedly struck Melissa Eberle, 38, of Bloomington, with his car.

After a considerable amount of time, police said the drivers of the two vehicles devised a plan where one driver would get out and stand in front of the next vehicle in line —Wiley's — giving the other driver an opportunity to reach the pump.

After the first car was able to fill up, Eberle stood in front of Wiley's car to allow the second car to fill up.

Police said Wiley then drove forward and bumped the woman. She told him to stop; however, police said he continued to bump her, forcing her backwards and injuring her knee. Once Wiley was able to pull up to the pumps, he fueled his car and left, at which time the victim called police.

Using the license plate number taken at the scene, officers went to Wiley's residence, where he admitted hitting the woman with his car, according to police.

Wiley was arrested and bond was set at $2,000 surety, $500 cash. He was released after posting bond.

The victim was taken to Bloomington Hospital. Her condition was not known. Telephone messages were left Friday at Wiley's home but not returned.

While Friday's confrontation at Swifty's was an extreme reaction to rising gas prices, many felt the squeeze at the pump as many retailers raised prices to as much as $2.14 a gallon. Cheaper prices were found along South Walnut Street, with prices at $1.99 at three stations.

At the Speedway gas station in Nashville, where 87-octane gasoline was going for $2.13 a gallon just before noon Friday, Ohio resident Wendell Hamilton was pragmatic about the high cost.

"You've got to have it," he said. "I hope the prices do go down, though."

The Spectator Peter Ciancone/Terre Haute Tribune-Star
April 4, 2004

http://www.tribstar.com/articles/2004/04/05/news/columnists/ncol03.txt

(Preserved at http://www.i69tour.org/bitingjournalism.html)

...Among the many factoids associated with this: The Indiana Department of Transportation figures that in addition to the other bonus features of more concrete in Greene County, it will produce 4,600 permanent new jobs by 2025. Figuring in the estimated cost of the highway -- $1.8 billion -- each new job will cost taxpayers $391,304. Oh, and 35 cents.

At that rate, we'd make as many new jobs by creating 184 new professional baseball teams. ...

Actual Press Release:
Bush Presidential Stops I-69

White House Press Release
April 1, 2004

Using the power of executive order, President George W. Bush has put to rest the national debate over I-69 the NAFTA International Free Trade Interstate Highway. The President called the Corridor 18 study "flawed" that Congress used in 1996 to enact "A third NAFTA" highway connecting the same two boarder crossing points.

President Bush, "This single document will save our US Economy 40 billion dollars in duplication of asphalt that was the result of trickery by a small group of highway lobbyists in the mid 1990's. more

I-69 Ramp Stalled Traffic

"I cannot tell you, nor can anyone tell you, how it will be paid for,"said Steve Howard,
a highway booster and president of the
Greater Bloomington Chamber of Commerce.

http://www.indystar.com/articles/4/116902-7204-127.html

Funding questions remain over I-69 extension

The Associated Press

February 1, 2004

February 2, 2004:

Here is an actual comment that we presented to the FEIS:
Mitigation of the noise level controls for I-69. I suggest an Ice Cream truck with a sound system with the capacity to reproduce the sounds of existing I-69 to scientific accuracy.

Drive the route at various times of the day and night, varying the sound to match source sounds to the proposed situation. That is where on and off ramps would be located, play the sound of the on and off ramp. Where long stretches of hilly
road would be reproduce that sound.

Drive the truck and encourage the feedback from the people who live along the route. This will allow for much more accurate calculation of the need for sound mitigation. The
truck could contain literature regarding air quality changes that might be expected. You could sell Ice cream to help pay the driver and for fuel. Surplus profits could go to help pay for the Interstate construction and future maintenance fees.

Perhaps the guys on Discovery Channels "Monster Garage" would build this vehicle on their program.

Sound Off Against I-69

Christmas 2002 - "EIS complete" O'Bannon selects route.

Christmas 2003 - "EIS complete"again...
Why Christmas Brian?

Update: Christmas 2004 - A meesely 8 page color brocure from master consultants BLA, further declaring, "done deal"

Belated Christmas 2004 - Finally something to make us smile. Brian Nicol is job hunting. Thank you Mitch Daniels!

Daniels Chrismas 2005 - Mitch Daniels claimed "Major Moves" by simply Doubling the Toll on the existing Indiana Toll Road and by building I-69 as a toll rather than free interstate, will create 95,400 more jobs than the 4600 that the I-69 study concluded. No study needed.

Un-Saint Nicol is Coming Again
(Now An I-69 Holiday tradition)

Was the night before Christmas and all 'long the route...
The only creatures stirring were us tossing about.

When from my parents bedroom their arose such a clatter...
I burst in their door and yelled "what's the matter".

My mother was screaming and pounding on Dad.
She looked at me crying, "He shouldn't get so mad".

With me in my PJs and them sedated on beer,
we'd tried to sleep knowing Un-Saint Nicol soon'd be here.

Last year was the same with O'Bannon making his choice.
Based on this study that gave us no voice.

The old man's decision to make our yard NAFTA,
was based on a study now complete again one year after.

Errors were found, like the well for Indy drinking water,
but Kernan's firm stand would still make some squaters.

Still no one knows if their home will be taken
or they will be the neigbors, financially forsaken.

So now my father's heart is no longer beating
and I look to the the south to Commissioner Nicol fleeting.

With money flying about, he claims "done deal".
Good timing and wild spending, he makes it seem real.

He waives down to us all, "Merry Christmas to Evansville.
for you who are paying, yours will be found in Heaven still."

How Much is a Billion?
(sent to us December 2003)
The next time you hear a politician use the word "billion"
casually, think about whether you want that politician
spending your tax money.

A billion is a difficult number to comprehend, but one
advertising agency did a good job of putting that figure
into perspective in one of its releases:

A billion seconds ago it was 1959.
A billion minutes ago Jesus was alive.
A billion hours ago our ancestors were living in the Stone Age.
A billion dollars ago was only 8 hours and 20 minutes, at
the rate Washington spends it.

We might have come up with the best way to understand a Billion:

So far Indiana has $12,000,000 (Twelve Million) on the study of I-69.

While $12 Million is not a small amount of money,
it can be represented as:
$1,000,000.00 + $1,000,000.00 + $1,000,000.00 + $1,000,000.00 + $1,000,000.00 + $1,000,000.00 + $1,000,000.00 + $1,000,000.00 + $1,000,000.00 + $1,000,000.00 + $1,000,000.00 + $1,000,000.00

Check out What is a Billion?
Our Burma Shave What is 3 Billion?
Or the simple What is 3 Billion?

Here is what we were thinking December of 2002 as INDOT announced the completion of the DEIS for Evansville to Indy for the first time.

Brian Garvey sent:
Remember At INDOT, We Don't Listen Because We Don't Care

Remember At INDOT, We Don't Listen Because We Don't Care

The Voices for I-69 is officially changing its name to "Voices for Paving Every Last Square Inch of Indiana" the group announced at a
press conference this week.

O'Bannon:
"INDOT'S own studies show that Southwest Indiana is such a desolate hell-hole that nobody in their right mind would want to live there."

From www.nuvo.net
by Kin Skelton

b.garvy

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I-69 Update: Pilot Promises People Prosperity!

In a press conference held in Mayor Judas Fernandez's office today, 'Middle Americas' Highway' spokesperson S. Brian Coward announced that new employers are already lining up to bring high quality jobs to our rural counties along the I-69 corridor. Coward said this should lay to rest the question, will the highway provide jobs.

In a faxed statement Frank O'Bannon, the Indiana Governor wrote: "We hope the Pilot stores will be the anchor to draw unemployed silicon valley executives to the Hoosier State."

"This is just the infrastructure that will put us on the map and restore the Nasdaq to the 5000 range," said M.A.H. V.P. Bryan Coward to a hopeful Vi Simpson and two of the four BPD officers who stand post out side Fernandez's door since area democrats have rejected him.

One of the officers said, "I don't know, the picture sort of looked like a greasy spoon truck stop to me. I'm not sure this I-69 thing is all it's cracked up to be."

Pilot Truck Stop - Diesel Fried Chicken

E-ville Mayor Floyd assures Diesel Fried Chicken will attract tech business with international appeal.

ASTROLOGICK 1/17/03
Gary Paul Glynn
Locally, a long-awaited announcement regarding the path of the proposed I-69 extension was recently made to the public - a path that many oppose for plenty of good reasons. From an astrological standpoint, nothing is likely to come of the announcement due to a number of factors - Mercury retrograde being the most obvious. With Mercury corresponding to anything related to transportation, maps, and planning - highways are at the top of his list. Mercury retrograde speaks of obstacles, delays, and bad communication - themes that will be embedded in the entire process of trying to make the new terrain I-69 a reality.

France Knable had her husband make a heart from Mark Stoop's yard sign design.
There is a second printing that can be had for a motivational donation.

Announcements:
Friday's meeting of MATH - It just doesn't add up, AKA: (Menopausals Against the Highway) has been rescheduled for two weeks to allow members of their comedy group to pore over the reams of material that O'Bannon's highway have provided.

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